Bubbe's Place: Stories

The center of their social life

My family belonged to a Conservative synagogue. The Conservative synagogue of my youth was very similar to an Orthodox Shul. The prayers were long and all in Hebrew. They were big on rote and short on understanding. It differed from the Orthodox in several ways. The sermon was in English and not in Yiddish. The women could sit beside their husbands. Few people came to services during the week. It was only crowded when there was a Bar Mitzvah or on the High Holidays.

We lived too far from the synagogue to walk there. We children, when we were sent there, took two trolleys. When my parents went, we drove there. I can still remember the year when we hired a new Rabbi. On that first day of Rosh Hashanah, Dad drove to synagogue and along with other members of the congregation, he parked his car in the synagogue lot. When services ended on the first day, the lot was locked and no one could get his car out. The Rabbi would not open the gate. A Jew does not ride on the High Holidays. Boy was Dad upset! We went home on two trolleys. My Dad never parked in the synagogue lot again. Instead, he hid his car (parked it) a block or two away. We then pretended that we had walked to synagogue. Why did we hide the car? We did not want to throw our irreverence in the face of the observant, or to have our car held hostage again.

My mother did not like the synagogues, but she insisted that we must belong and go on occasion. This would demonstrate our unity with our people and our dues would help the religious maintain the institution. My father was ashamed to go because he worked on the Sabbath. He would not take an aliyah, because he was not observant. Still on the High Holidays, my mother made us all go. Later after my dad retired, he enjoyed going to synagogue on Saturdays. Then he even accepted aliyahs. Mother would meet him just before the services concluded. She still was not comfortable in the synagogue. I will write more about my mother and the synagogue below. The relationship of women to the synagogue and the traditional ways was a little complex. For example my mother's sisters were older and uneducated. After they began to have children, they no longer worked in the sweatshops. They took in boarders. They cooked and canned food. They sewed a little. They had more control over their hours and they could say their prayers at home. They could go to synagogue on Saturdays. They all kept the dietary laws (kashrut) and observed the Sabbath. The synagogue was the center of their social lives.